Regrets!

[dearest15]

Today I sat in my chair at work, staring at my computer screen suddenly thinking about everything that I regret doing in my life. YOu know, items we have branded as 'mistakes'. Then I asked the inevitable, 'If I had a chance to take back those 'mistakes' would I?' It made me a little sad thinking about it. Then I thought that if I had, I do not think I would be any further in my life than I am now. Also, in speaking with Madd about this, I would consider thinking about those mistakes, a 'regret', due to me being saddend by the thought (ironic right?) It all became clear to me on the drive home, however.

You know the age old saying, 'what doesnt kill us makes us stronger'? Yah, I definitly applied it as I pondered. Everything in life, happens for a reason. Whether it be Gods master plan, fate or everything inbetween, it happens for a reason. While most or all of my regrets are items that caused pain or hurt to myself, I put myself in those positions. I brought on those pains. One of those pains, granted me a child. While she is NOT a regret, by any means, my life with her father, was. Now if I took that relationship back, then I would lose my daughter and pretty much the reason I exist today Well, among other things

So I have realized, that what I regret, has allowed me to be a stronger person. I will make a mistake here or there sure, but I will learn from it and move on. I have many regrets, however, I wouldn't be where I am today, without them. That puts a smile on my face

[cmplxty7]

See - I would not consider those regrets, then.

I have always lived as "no regrets" (which I know is cliche, but oh well). I have made plenty of mistakes - I've screwed up and had to pay consequences and caused other to suffer because of them also - we all do, that's part of being human - everyone makes mistakes on all different scales. But each and every experience you go through makes you who you are, and in order to be happy with yourself and who you are, you have to accept that those mistakes helped make you who you are. To me, saying you regret something is like saying you wish you could take it back, or do it over - but as you pointed out, if you do that so many other things change. So by saying you regret something you are saying you are not happy with who you are and wish you could change it. And if that's true, so be it. But just admitting you know you've made mistakes is not the same as having regrets, in my opinion - but that's all that is, is my opinion.

[sewcute]

I guess to me something could be a regret when it first happens, or even for years after it happens, but when you are able to look back on it, and see it for what it was a learning experience or what not then it isn't as much a regret as lesson learned.

I have done things I regretted that have turned out to be very good things in my life.

[madd74]

I have always believed on the thought that any one event that happens in life will lead towards another thing. Without that thing happening, then your entire life no longer would be what it is. Whether you choose to not pick up a penny, or you choose to or not to have sex with someone, or have sex at all. It does not matter the event, as it will ripple onto everything down the road of your life. This is known as the butterfly effect of time. They made a movie attempting to show the principle of this. Other movies (Mr Destiny) have done similar before.

I have stated that I do not regret things, even though there are some things I truly would have liked to have, or not have done. Some might call this regret, so regret could be viewed as a definition. On that note, in the dictionary(.com), it is defined as:

verb
-To feel sorry, disappointed, or distressed about.
-To remember with a feeling of loss or sorrow; mourn.

noun
-A sense of loss and longing for someone or something gone.
-A feeling of disappointment or distress about something that one wishes could be different.
-regrets A courteous expression of regret, especially at having to decline an invitation.

One could easily see how I fall into that classification. However, I do not see a point where I wish things had changed.

For example, in a more ideal situation, I would be married before having my child. However, in marrying someone, with the choices I make, I may have ended up with another woman, someone who was not fertile. Then I would be with someone, could be happy, yet not ever experience what it is like to have a child "in my image".

Now I note I have done stupid things in my life (some very), and there are instants where the exact moment something goes wrong, it feels like regret. However, that is like a heat of passion moment, or a moment when people decide to up and say something in anger that they do not mean on that exact moment. I would not classify the actual thing as regret, however.