The Elephant in the Room

[ditzwill]

I delight in making people talk about or at least acknowledge the fact that I'm fat because a majority of the time it makes them uncomfortable. In order to understand this, one must understand that I'm *extremely* overweight. 5'9'' and around 430 pounds. That puts me at a good 250lbs overweight, if not more. I do this because a lot of times I feel like people are uncomfortable around me or uncomfortable talking about certain things because of my size. I make fat jokes and refer to my addiction to food. I refer to myself as "Fattie". I often will make comments about places that I will and won't fit when people try to seat me at restaraunts (I swear, some hosts have a worse grasp of '3 dimensional spacial' than I do). I talk about fat lady clothing stores.

So, how does it make you feel when someone puts you in a situation like that? Have I ever done that to you? Do you think this is rude or wrong in any way? In terms of society, do I get to choose what's politically correct to talk about because I'm the one with the malady? What do you think? What was your first reaction when/if you met me?

[madd74]

As you know, in joking or not, I have no issue or problem calling or referring to you as fat. I do not have any problem calling anyone anything if they "put me on the spot" about it. In some cases, I find it turns to backfire on the person attempting to do it, especially if I am on a roll that day

I think the biggest reason is, that they are nothing but words, and for people I care about, I should be able to call them fat as much as they call me skinny ass, scatter-brained, or anything else they can come up with that I actually am. Just like I joke about Myles' mother and dog, as well as other people, because I am playful, and that is how I play, and my words are not meant to be of an ill-natured way.

P.C. is out of control as it is. When people talk about a Seasonal Secret Holiday Gift Exchange, I want to take a Santa figuring and shove it between their ears. Some humans are so obsessed with political correctness, that in their attempts to not offend the

[ditzwill]

Just so everyone knows, this wasn't just to Madd.

Madd: That was about exactly the response I was expecting from you. You don't disappoint. heh

[madd74]

glad to be of cervix

[monkeybone]

it IS the elephant in the room.

i have so many thoughts about this..... i only wish i had the brains to really tackle it tonight.

all i can do is thank you for addressing it

*smooch* on the cheek, my friend

[monkeybone]

wow. i guess it really the elephant in the room sort of topic.

i'm glad this was somewhat addressed in lj.

you are so very brave and open. i admire that more than i can say or do for myself.

[monkeybone]

after a re-read:

why do you delight in making people acknowledge your fat because it makes them uncomfortable?

you like making people uncomfortable? or you like talking about being fat? or you want to have more people talk about this openly?

what?

[ditzwill]

after a re-read:

why do you delight in making people acknowledge your fat because it makes them uncomfortable?

you like making people uncomfortable? or you like talking about being fat? or you want to have more people talk about this openly?

what?

I want to have more people talk about this openly. I want for it to be not taboo. As long as it isn't mean spirited, I want people to think I'm funny and that fat situations are funny. I want people to be comfortable with me in general.

Part of me also delights in making people uncomfortable just because it's kind of fun. I love getting reactions from people. Some things I do to get a reaction, some things I do because I'm just a wyrdo. My favorite reaction is good-natured laughter. Shock is my second favorite. Usually shock is followed by laughter when people realize I'm being funny. Sometimes not and I end up feeling like an ass. Sometimes I want to make people feel uncomfortable because that's how they're making me feel. A lot of times I want to make people feel uncomfortable because that's how they are making me feel.

I love talking about food because I love everything about food. Talking about how much I love food often leads to talking about me being a fattie.

I've edited this like five times. heh

I can't organize my thoughts, does any of this make sense?

[monkeybone]

after a re-read:

why do you delight in making people acknowledge your fat because it makes them uncomfortable?

you like making people uncomfortable? or you like talking about being fat? or you want to have more people talk about this openly?

what?

I want to have more people talk about this openly. I want for it to be not taboo. As long as it isn't mean spirited, I want people to think I'm funny and that fat situations are funny. I want people to be comfortable with me in general.

anyone who meets you for about 3 minutes - or 30 seconds, i should say - will be comfortable with you. i think/hope you know that. [size=150]

Part of me also delights in making people uncomfortable just because it's kind of fun. I love getting reactions from people. Some things I do to get a reaction, some things I do because I'm just a wyrdo. My favorite reaction is good-natured laughter. Shock is my second favorite. Usually shock is followed by laughter when people realize I'm being funny.

Again, I think this goes to someone just meeting you. You ARE a weirdo, but some of are as well, and like to meet kindred spirits

Sometimes not and I end up feeling like an ass. Sometimes I want to make people feel uncomfortable because that's how they're making me feel. A lot of times I want to make people feel uncomfortable because that's how they are making me feel.

This is understandable and how I feel all too often myself. Who wants to be around someone who makes them uncomfortable? I, however, live with someone who makes me uncomfortable much of the time - and that is me. I envy your opinion of yourself. I am NOT comfortable with how I am.

On the other hand, Madd had a very good point about being called names. But I would hope that's all in the good natured name-calling that we do with each other. But more importantly, he is such an easy and good-natured target! And the boy gets his swipes in easily enough.

I love talking about food because I love everything about food. Talking about how much I love food often leads to talking about me being a fattie.

I've edited this like five times. heh

I can't organize my thoughts, does any of this make sense?

I DIDN't edit 5 times and I probably should have. I hope it makes some sense.

ps: i am a decided novice at the quote and reply thing here. we shall see if it's all decipherable when i hit 'post'

[monkeybone]

please wade through the below, D. i really tried to separate my replies to your comments and failed miserably.

[ditzwill]

I waded and I understanded. Thanx babe.

[cmplxty7]

well, I am late in replying, and I am sorry - but I am still replying!

I used to be SO uncomfortable with the way everyone joked about it. I remember the first few times I met you, if Madd made a fat joke I was like "omg - how can you treat your friends that way?!!" But now that I know you better, and have been around you more, it does not affect me that way anymore. I think a lot of it is that most people are not ok with their weight, and I try not to offend people or hurt their feelings about something they may be self-conscious about. And it's not just weight - it's anything that sets someone apart from the average.

Just like if I was around a midget, I would be very aware of anything I said that might reference height, and if I did say anything on the subject (which I probably wouldn't) it would be as non-offensive as possible. Now, once talking to that person if I learn that they are comfortable with who they are and are not sensitive to their unique height, I would be ok talking about it and joking about it.

I think you hit the nail on the head with saying it is so taboo. Really , it is sad that anything that deviates from the exact average is something we are not supposed to talk about or point out. I also think that this outlook with society is what makes people so self-conscious in the first place, and that makes it even more taboo to talk about - it's a vicious circle, huh?

Too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short, too dumb, too smart, too ugly, too pretty - no matter what, you are screwed here - and be sure not to talk about it!!!

[ditzwill]

hehehe Madd makes some of the funniest jokes.

Embrace the Taboo!!! Force people to accept that no one is normal no matter how little they talk about it!!

Thanx Jen.

[madd74]

:takes a bow:

Yeah, and you make it easy. Of course, I cannot, for the life of me, remember what I thought regarding you and your weight when I first met you. I also am not sure when I decided to start making pot shots at it. Back then, being over 13 years ago, I know that I most likely would have saved any comments until an open invite occurred (meaning, you made it obvious you would not be offended). That is how I generally work with anyone who is over-weight or whatever. I mean, I think it ridiculous that people get so easily offended by jokes that hit fat (or race, or whatever). However, I respect it. At the same time, it can make people laugh, and if you and I are in a room, and I can throw out 96 references to you bringing my house down by jumping up and down in the span of 4 minutes, and that will make milk come out of your nose when you have not even been drinking milk, then that should be respected also.